I‘ve heard that resentment feels like urinating down your own leg. It’s warm at first, but then it gets cold, wet and uncomfortable. Or, you can say, that resentment is like taking poison into your body and waiting for the other person to die. Either way, resentment it’s not good for us. It hurts us more than it hurts the other person.
How do we release resentment, and become free?
One way to get rid of resentment, is to do a reflective assessment of one’s past actions. It is necessary to look at where I have put myself in a position to get hurt. I have to look for where I am at fault. The awareness releases me from feeling like a victim. I can see where I have made mistakes and have some culpability in the situation. The exercise of reflection, can transform my resentment into acceptance.
But what happens if I do this work and the resentment still doesn’t go away?
Then the resentment needs to be overcome with a 2 pronged approach:
- This Prayer: Ask for the person you resent to have everything you want for yourself.
This discipline must be done every day for two weeks. It’s not easy to do, but it works. When this is combined with self-reflection, the result can be amazing.
I had the experience of being angry at someone in my family for something they had done. And as a result, I chose to move away from home. And even though I got a great job, in a nearby state, I couldn’t let go of the hurt. I continued to seethe with anger when I thought of them, and in my mind, I continued to argue my case with them. I was sure I was right and they were wrong. If I didn’t get release, I knew I would end up saying or doing something at a family gathering which I’d end up regretting. So, I prayed, I did the reflective assessment and I asked for help from a spiritual advisor.
I told my spiritual advisor my story. He listened and after I was finished, he gave his opinion. He said, “Is it possible that this drama happened so you’d move away? Could it be that God had a plan for you to be where you are, instead of still back at home? With that perspective, combined with prayer and self-reflection, I was free from the resentment.
I don’t know why things happen the way they do. But I can choose how I view the situation. You too can be free from resentment as well.